GIVING UNCONDITIONALLY

A topic discussed a lot .. But still isn’t there so much more for us to give.?

Not one of us can turn around and say we cannot give or we do not have anything to give .. we all something to give.

Over the years, I thought just giving to the blind school, or the sisters of the poor and any other organisation was a lot I was doing. But that according to me is just giving materialistically.

Yes, If one can give, then giving financial aid is absolutely wonderful and a must too.

But there is so much more we can give. We can give and share our time,  some love, a little kindness, compassion…Sometimes just being there and listening to someone who needs it is the biggest thing we can give.

Instead of spending so much time on our phones, let’s look up at people and see what’s happening around us. Does someone need your seat? Does one need a helping hand? Maybe one just needs a Smile.

It’s this Compassion and Kindness which can go a long way. This is giving ..

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of  yourself that you truly give.”

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

There is a lot of construction going on around my home in Bangalore ( the noise is deafening )

I have been so upset and angry sometimes  .. I have gone and spoken to them many a time – but these people are just doing their job. Taking orders from whoever gives it to them.

Over the last few months, I have noticed that they work come rain or shine! Looking at them working in the rain, completely drenched and their little kids freezing in the rain my heart broke.

Next day I went and bought 30 blankets and went personally and handed them over to these people. The Smiles on their faces!!

Now that I thought and truly felt was giving.

They say that people give for themselves or for others. Did I do this materialistic giving for myself?

Maybe .. but I did not have an ulterior motive. Honestly, I never thought I would write about this and share it with you’ll. Just looking at them freezing and cold .. my heart melted and I got the blankets.

So what is giving for yourself vs giving for others.? I think anyone who gives with an ulterior motive is obviously doing it for themselves.

To get some fame, name .. to talk about it and feel good about themselves. Do I feel good when I give? Yes .. of course. But I also love giving.

“Help others without any reason and give without the expectation of receiving anything in return.”

 Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

I think we just need to have a little more awareness on what is happening in front of us.

We do not all need to run only to the big foundations – Let’s help these people who are working with us, around us too. Let’s give and share with one and all.

Twin hearts meditation has taught me that just sending out loving-kindness to the Universe is a great way to share.

So just thinking and sending out loving-kindness to people is such a wonderful way to give unconditionally.

What are the ways that You give and share? I would love to hear from you .. after all we all learn something new every day.

What is the difference between hearing and listening?

What is the difference between hearing and listening?

Here are the dictionary and mine ..

HEAR – “perceive with the ear the sound made by (someone or something) “ .

I feel like you can hear the birds, the waves, the cars honking, someone talking, music playing, etc.

LISTEN – “ give one’s attention to a sound.” Yes, when you give attention, that is listening.

Over the weekend I was at a workshop, and we learned, had breakthroughs, heard and listened to a lot. An AHA moment for me was when we began to discuss Listening. Does one need to go to a workshop to understand listening? Yes, I think so 🙂

During the lunch break, I was talking to my husband and shared with him learnings from the morning.

I feel one can listen from your head ( mind ) and one can listen from the heart!

Do you know the difference?

I realized that often when I am listening, I am already in my mind preparing what I am going to say to the person. What advice I feel the person needs! What needs to be done ..etc.etc.

And, when I listen from my heart – I am listening. Taking in and understanding what the person is saying, feeling .. There truly is a big difference. To listen from your heart is when You are totally present and right there for the person. You are in the ‘ Now ‘

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey

As I sat back and thought about it I actually tried to honestly contemplate – How much was I truly listening and how much did I hear?

There are many benefits of listening.

Listening creates better relationships because it shows the other person that we are paying attention to them, their feelings, their thoughts, where they are and what is really happening.

It makes you more patient. It helps you build trust among everyone around You. It makes you more approachable .. more compassionate too.

The one thing I want to share is the few things we can do to listen better.

Look at the person .. look at their eyes. What are they saying? Don’t look at your phone and read your messages ( or this blog ) while someone is trying to talk to You.

Don’t judge the person, let them feel and share their feelings. Be open and attentive to them.

Please do not try and find solutions for them while they are talking. Sometimes people just want to share and not be given solutions. Unless asked for, I would suggest, Please do not give any advice… just an empathetic ear.

“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.”

―Roy T. Bennett

So here I am ..offering You an empathetic ear.

What would You like to share?

What is the difference between hearing and listening?

What is the difference between hearing and listening?

Here is the dictionary and mine ..

HEAR – “perceive with the ear the sound made by (someone or something) “ .

I feel, like you can hear the birds, the waves, the cars honking, someone talking, music playing etc.

LISTEN – “ give one’s attention to a sound.” Yes, when you give attention, that is listening.

Over the weekend I was at a workshop, and we learned, had breakthroughs, heard and listened to a lot. An AHA moment for me was when we began to discuss Listening. Does one need to go to a workshop to understand listening? Yes, I think so 🙂

During the lunch break, I was talking to my husband and shared with him learnings from the morning.

I feel one can listen from your head ( mind ) and one can listen from the heart!

Do you know the difference?

I realized that often when I am listening, I am already in my mind preparing what I am going to say to the person. What advice I feel the person needs! What needs to be done ..etc.etc.

And, when I listen from my heart – I am listening. Taking in and understanding what the person is saying, feeling .. There truly is a big difference. To listen from your heart is when You are totally present and right there for the person. You are in the ‘ Now ‘

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey

As I sat back and thought about it I actually tried to honestly contemplate – How much was I truly listening and how much did I hear?

There are many benefits of listening.

Listening creates better relationships because it shows the other person that we are paying attention to them, their feelings, their thoughts, where they are and what is really happening.

It makes you more patient. It helps you build trust among everyone around You. It makes you more approachable .. more compassionate too.

The one thing I want to share is the few things we can do to listen better.

Look at the person .. look at their eyes. What are they saying? Don’t look at your phone and read your messages ( or this blog ) while someone is trying to talk to You.

Don’t judge the person, let them feel and share their feelings. Be open and attentive to them.

Please do not try and find solutions for them while they are talking. Sometimes people just want to share and not be given solutions. Unless asked for, I would suggest, Please do not give any advice… just an empathetic ear.

“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.”

―Roy T. Bennett

So here I am ..offering You an empathetic ear.

What would You like to share?

Young at heart| Anjana Shamballa Life coach in Bangalore

Youth –  the time in our lives between childhood and adulthood. When we felt we had a lot of energy, we looked and felt fresh and energetic.

Young at heart is any of us still holds on to that feeling, that look, that behavior through our adulthood too.

For example, in spite of being grandmothers, I have some friends who are still youthful and always living life and having fun, we go to fairs and laugh and giggle. The dictionary explains it as “Having a youthful outlook, especially in spite of one’s age. For example, she loves carnivals and fairs; she’s a grandmother but she’s young at heart”

Personally, I like to live “Young”.. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I have 2 Adult children.

I absolutely love spending time with all the children and that truly brings out the child in me, even now.

“The happiest adults are those who never buried old toys or abandoned imaginary friends.” – Richelle E. Goodrich

On my birthday this year I got presented a Big Unicorn by my children 🥳 It is in my bedroom and I absolutely love it.

Now not all of us have to collect stuffed toys to be and feel young  🤩- there are many simpler ways too.

-Spend time with younger and more positive people. Avoid being around grumpy people too much.

-Laugh a lot .. laugh at yourself too and appreciate the positive side of life.

-Take time to feel pretty for yourself

-Spend at least 20-30 minutes exercising daily

-Grab a cup of coffee with your best friend and have a fun chit chat.

-Watch the new tv shows .. Listen to new music.

-Never believe you are too old to do anything

-Be spontaneous in life

-It’s ok to have a little chocolate or a glass of wine 😉

-Check out what’s happening on social media

I will end this with a wonderful quote by George Burns :

“ You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old “

So live happy, live young. You are only as old as you believe you are. Age is just a number. So decide which number You want to be.

Source: Anjana Shamballa Life coach in Bangalore